Waiting in the cold.

When I was really small I didn't mind the cold all that much.  For years, I was just a normal kid who liked all kinds of weather.

Then one day, a few weeks after moving to an apartment in West Virginia, the bus came for the first day of my brother's and my new school.

There were about four other kids at the bus stop with us who got on the bus, but when we tried to get on the bus driver stopped us.  He said our bus was not this bus and that our bus would be coming later.

So we waited.  In the snow and ice.  For about 3 whole hours.  

No other bus EVER came.

So we finally went home.  We called our mother and told her what happened.  She later called the school and complained to them, then said it wouldn't happen again, so just get on the bus tomorrow.

So the next day, we stood outside and waited.  Oddly, the children who'd been at that bus stop the day before were not there today.  Not one of them.

But the bus still stopped at the bus stop.  And sat there.  He didn't even open the damn doors, even though we were standing right there.

My brother seemed at a loss at to what he should do, but I pounded my fist on the door.  The bus driver opened the door.  I yelled at him, 

"IS THIS THE BUS FOR THE MIDDLE SCHOOL?!"

He said yes. 

"THEN IT'S OUR BUS!"

Then I stormed on the bus, my brother following.

Moral of this story.

That bus driver. 

Fuck that guy.

How to clean your room. (And keep it that way)

Sometimes cleaning your room can be quite an intimidating task, but if you follow these simple steps you too can be a master of your mini-domain.

The first thing you should do is activate your preferred form of entertainment. Be it television, radio, or even youtube videos.

Once this is done you should eat and then use the restroom. This should be done so that you have no reasons to leave the room while in the cleaning process.

The next step is to begin cleaning your room. Start with the section closest to the door and clean it completely before moving on to the next section. Moving away from the door as you clean makes you more comfortable in the room and less likely to run out in the middle of the process.

When you've gotten the whole room clean it's time to sacrifice your soul to the powers that be in order to keep the mess from taking your room a second time.

The first thing you'll want to do next is summon a mythical being. (Like Rumpelstiltskin) Hell, if you summon Rumpelstiltskin himself you can promise him the life of your first (or next) child without taking away from your own life. (Basically your life will be normal except for your room being eternally clean! :D yay!)

Protip: Always read the terms and conditions when planning to accept a mythical contract! Don't want to accidentally give permission to become part of a humancentipad! (Or worse, give away your stuff!)


Well, that's all you have to do! I wish you all the best with your beautiful rooms!

Chicago man withdraws 15 yr old daughter's speaking privileges.

Chicago, Il.- Police receive a call from an incomprehensible lady on Tuesday afternoon. They traced the phone call to a home in the downtown section of Chicago where they find a girl crying while mowing the lawn while the girl's parents sat on the porch drinking lemonade. When police questioned the family about the phone call the parents responded that their daughter had cursed violently at them for shutting off the girl's phone due to an incident a few days earlier when the girl sneaked out of the house.
The mother, Eliza Wrigley (37), explained the situation more thoroughly to police.
"Jenny(daughter) was complaining to Robert(father) about how angry she was about us shutting her phone off. He told her that if she was gonna act like a whiny little bitch, he was gonna give her more to whine about. Then he told her to do the dishes and she started cursing us like you wouldn't believe. So Robert, bless his soul, he said, 'Now hun, I don't care that you cursed, but you are gonna learn that you can't just yell at people when they make you angry.' Then he took her vocal cords so she couldn't say nothing back."

Police told the family that as long as they give the girl's voice back in a week they have done nothing against the law.
Upon hearing this, Jenny stuck her tongue out at the officer.
The officer promptly gave her two extra weeks to go without her voice.

Jenny Wrigley - 15

STYLE. -shing sparkle sparkle-

I swear, ever since I figured out that I'm actually over 50% german I've been absorbing as much as I could regarding german style. Which is, thankfully enough, incredibly easy for me to imitate because they basically wear the same style of clothes I'm used to wearing. -phew- Dodged a bullet there. Thought I would have to go all out and change my ingrained definition of style.

It's pretty easy, if you wanna know what I found out about the style over there I'll tell you now, because I'm not gonna look for it again.

Basically, what they said is that there's a lot of floral print and bright colors with blue jeans, jackets/long-sleeved shirts, and scarves. European people are really big on scarves. I don't know why, but it might have something to do with the fact that they're cute and cozy. Also, if you're like me and you get cold ALL the time it's easy as hell to imitate a style based around the necessary garments for colder temperatures.

Blah blah blah; I'm going german crazy and I have nothing entertaining to say.

p.s. Does it count as being a crazy cat lady if the cats are just in a videogame?

I like to think I'm part cat.

Let's face it, cats are adorable.  It doesn't matter if you prefer dogs because that's not the point. Dogs are cute too, but we're not talking about them.  This post is about cats and what I learned from my cat, Purdy while she was raising me since I was about three.

First off, cats are all different. So are people and literally every other creature that exists on this planet. All I mean is the things I learned from Purdy may not apply to other cats.

Purdy was very vocal (being a tortoise-shell, this was hardly surprising) and her purring sounded just like a motorboat. And she was ALWAYS purring.

Now it would seem that we named her Purdy because of her constant loud purring. Really though, I tried to name her Perdita (yes after the mother dalmatian from 101 Dalmatians) but I was too young to say the name correctly.  What I inferred from this small part of her life was that people will grow into their names. I know that's just ridiculous, but now I can't think of it any other way. And all future cats I adopt will have their name based on a particular trait that I hope they develop.

Other things that Purdy taught me include how to purr and hiss.  It seems that because I was so young when I received her as a pet, she was able to (indirectly) teach me how to imitate her sounds. I can meow, purr, and hiss just like a cat. But, remember that I said all cats are different? The only cat I can ever imitate will be Purdy. I sound just like her because she was the one I learned from. It's sort of like when two teachers are teaching their classes ways to do the same thing differently. The students from each class will only understand how to do 'whatever' in the way they were taught.

Possibly the most awesome thing Purdy ever taught me was how to be a ninja. I was always paying close attention to her, so it was no surprise that I saw how she moved when she was about to pounce. I learned from her how to perform quick actions in a way that prevented someone from even knowing I was about to do anything at all.

So why even post any of this?  Well, I miss Purdy a lot.

But the main point of this post is that "If you want your child to develop the traits of any particular animal, you must present this animal to them at an incredibly young age. Then when they get older, they'll be SO FUCKING COOL."

That's me and Purdy.

My Felt doll

I'm known to dabble in different hobbies from time to time, but ever since I was young I've had a desire to make my own dolls.  (I was certain mine would be better)

Today I finished making a Hero Chaos Chao doll.

That's a reference image.  The person who drew this forgot the halo, but it's close enough.

Here is the doll I made.

Pretty pictures

Just some pictures I've made.

Enjoy.

Comment if you have a favorite, I'd love some feedback. :)